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Old 01-31-2014, 06:06 PM   #11
McKnight
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Glad you liked it, and thanks for reading it.

Yeah, both my friends are also preview readers. I always make sure to have them critique what I write before I post it online.

Anyway, when I come back to it, I'm probably going to start writing future chapters that I already have planned out in advance. Won't be showing them to anyone, lest they post it online for themselves, but I could talk about the fic in general with you personally.

And, here's a link to my blog, in case you'd like to keep up to date with what goes on with it:

http://dmxrated.livejournal.com/
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Old 02-01-2014, 07:55 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by McKnight View Post
Glad you liked it, and thanks for reading it.

Yeah, both my friends are also preview readers. I always make sure to have them critique what I write before I post it online.

Anyway, when I come back to it, I'm probably going to start writing future chapters that I already have planned out in advance. Won't be showing them to anyone, lest they post it online for themselves, but I could talk about the fic in general with you personally.

And, here's a link to my blog, in case you'd like to keep up to date with what goes on with it:

http://dmxrated.livejournal.com/
That's always good to have a preview reader IMO ^^. There are always a few errors that pass... And then you still can fix it. I already found plenty errors on some chapters of mine before releasing.

It's good to always write them quickly! You never know when you're going to forget the ideas! I commited this error with one of my fanfics, I procrastinated a lot and now I don't know anymore what to do..

I'd love to talk with you about your fanfic ^^. It's always good to be able to help :D.
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Old 02-01-2014, 10:27 PM   #13
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Sure, anything in particular you'd like to discuss about it?
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Old 02-02-2014, 05:49 PM   #14
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Sure, anything in particular you'd like to discuss about it?
Well, anything you want. If you have an idea, I can try helping you polishing it, maybe styling it better. Just tell me what you want and I will try helping.
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Old 02-02-2014, 08:49 PM   #15
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Okay, then. First thing I'd like you to do, is to start watching the following gameplay video series for each of the three games. Alternately, you could play whichever games you have access to yourself (including the translation patch for Mother 3). That way, you'll understand what kind of fic I'm trying to write.

Earthbound Zero
Earthbound
Mother 3

Hope that won't be too much to ask before we get started.

Will post here again once I've thought about what plans I have for the short term.
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Old 02-03-2014, 12:11 PM   #16
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[UPDATE]

The next chapter I'm planning on is going to be about each of Rokuna's friends and something to make happen at the pet store that the girls are going to. One of my friends also told me that there's gonna need to be some actual stuff to take place in this chapter in order to hold readers' interests, since chapters 2 and 3 have been mostly dialogue (apart from Ichirobei's explanation about the Magé Stones).

Spoiler: show
That boy who spoke to Miyuki at the end of the third chapter is, in fact, Rokuna's boyfriend Yamazaki. Rokuna had also mentioned three other girls all her age shortly beforehand. Here are some profiles for all four characters:

Yamazaki Tsutsuji

Personality: A bit cocky, but tends to watch out for his friends no matter what kind of danger it may put him in. He also tends to think that he better them everyone by comparison, but will admit to his faults. His hobby is singing punk, rock, and metal songs.

Background: Has recently moved out of a foster home and is currently living by himself.

Basis: http://z6.invisionfree.com/dotHack_N...showtopic=9031


Rin Mazaki

Personality: Very social, ready to strike up conversation with just about anyone about anything. Fairly easygoing and not afraid of a challenge, the latter can sometimes get her into a bad spot when she doesn’t know when to give up. She is not one to be easily afraid of anything, at least by her outward appearance. She does whatever she deems to be ‘fun’.

Background: Lives with her parents and two younger brothers in the center of Tokyo. Pretty well off, so far she has only had to worry about schooling and choosing her future career. A big fan of online games.

Basis: http://z6.invisionfree.com/dotHack_N...showtopic=8888


Junko Ubaraki

Personality: A bright character who usually be upbeat, but at the same time she tends to see the darker side of things. She is very caring but tries to not show it, but it always shines through in her concern for others. It takes a long while for Thistle to get upset and when she is, she tends to become a bit cynical and skeptical. Thistle loves cute things and is easily distracted by many things (especially animals and beautiful scenery). She loves adventure and meeting new people though she doesn't approve of those that look down on others because they are new to experiences, since everyone was new at one point.

Background: Had just transferred this year to Rokuna's school, so the fact that she's not seeing anyone from her previous school makes her a bit anxious.

Basis: http://z6.invisionfree.com/dotHack_N...showtopic=8865


Chitose Kubota

Personality: A tough girl who doesn't put up with bullshit. She can be nice, or mean depending on who she is talking to. And she definitely is more out going than most people. She won't hesitate to say what is on her mind, or to jump in a brawl. Her anger is both hot and cold. She is both easily angered, but also logical about how she uses her anger.

Background: Had a twin sister who died in the womb and became a personality disorder attached to her. That personality disorder manifested into a trapped twin sister within her sister's body.

Basis: http://z6.invisionfree.com/dotHack_N...showtopic=8838

The points here are to explore some stuff about Rokuna (since we already know from the anime who the other girls are also friends with), and to make sure that the Magé Stones are kept an enigma. They're going to meet each of Rokuna's friends one at a time, after which Rokuna will wonder why her own friends still haven't been chosen by any of the stones despite being fellow long-haired seniors whom she already knows.

As for what goes on at the pet store... Well, I should mention first off that it will not be the same one as in the OAV.

It could be that all the animals have been released, like in the pet department in Podunk's dept. store (EB0). This would actually involve the main characters rounding them all up (something Ninten isn't tasked with, even though he is asked to solve other problems in town), although one has to wonder how anything like turtles or fish could possibly get very far upon release. Could also involve them finding out who's responsible for what happened there, and going after them.

If you can think of anything else or anything more original, though, I'll be glad to read your ideas.
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Old 02-03-2014, 10:09 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by McKnight View Post
Okay, then. First thing I'd like you to do, is to start watching the following gameplay video series for each of the three games. Alternately, you could play whichever games you have access to yourself (including the translation patch for Mother 3). That way, you'll understand what kind of fic I'm trying to write.

Earthbound Zero
Earthbound
Mother 3

Hope that won't be too much to ask before we get started.

Will post here again once I've thought about what plans I have for the short term.
Hi,

I will try doing it in the time I can.. Classes are back and it's taking lots of my time, so it will take some good time before I can come back to you with all that.

Now for your other post. The characters seems to be nice, I don't have any ideas for a character for now..

Spoiler: show
One thing I think would be funny is to hava man with one of these stones, I mean, if you ever went to a metal concert, there are many men with plenty big hair (I remember one guy from Helloween concert in Sao Paulo that had hair down to his waist lol). Bet it would be quite unexpected and funny for this to happen hahaha!
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Old 02-03-2014, 10:42 PM   #18
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Understandable, and thanks for offering to at least try. Guess I'll come back to you personally when I come back to the fic after leaving it alone for a while.
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Old 02-23-2014, 10:57 AM   #19
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And now, here's a spinoff fic, subtitled Birthday of Destiny:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1013184...day-of-Destiny
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