The Light of Heart - My First Fan Fiction

[Inikalord]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6632996/1/The_Light_of_Heart

This was my first experience in writing Fan Fiction for anything. I dont consider myself all that great when it comes to writing stories but I gave it a shot anywayz.

[Forsakn Wrath]

i may take a look when i have free time to read it

[uberpwnage13]

Just read it, it's pretty good. I'll have to go back over it and read it more thoroughly later. Usually, I read through a story pretty quickly, but I have to go back and read it again to get full experience. It's like watching a movie and then watching it again to see the subtleties you didn't see the first time.

Even though you said you're not that great a writer, I'd have to disagree. You could still polish up how the story is told with more descriptive setting/imagery and a little dialogue touchup. Despite your note at the beginning, you actually did pretty well keeping in character. The cell phone/chainsaw noise thing sounded exactly like something Konata would do. The actual story was pretty good, save a little loss of believability for the deus ex machina at the end. But hey, it's fiction.

[Mr.Closter]

I loved it, besides 1 or 2 hiccups you're a very good writer. Cant wait to see more!

[Veldin]

bored to death,
mad,
and lonely....
verry lonely...:(

*trolling*