7h3101im4idw0lf
06-02-2009, 03:52 PM
Ways To Annoy People In The Cinema:
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"
Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.
WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!
1-Boil ice cream.
2-Bury your fathers Nissan. Tell your him the dog did it.
3-Challenge the neighbour kid to duel.
4-Climb a sidewalk.
5-Dial 911...breath heavily.
6-Donate your brother/sister's body to science.
7-Have your cat bronzed.
8-Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes.
9-Join Hell's Angels by mail.
10-Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids.
11-Learn to type...with your toes.
12-Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
13-Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins.
14-Mow your carpet.
15-Paint your home...day-glo orange.
16-Paint your windows.
17-Pinstripe your driveway.
18-Plant a shoe.
19-Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
20-Plot the overthrow of your local School Board.
21-Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed.
22-Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
23-Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)
24-Redecorate your garage.
25-Ride a loaf of bread.
26-See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
27-Speak in acronyms.
28-Take apart all your major kitchen appliances. Mix and match the parts.
29-Take your sofa for a walk.
30-Turn your TV picture tube upside down.
31. Flicker the light switch for about 5 minutes before saying very loudly "ooooooooooooooh! I get it!"
32-Wax the ceiling.
O.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.o
Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
Best Friends: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
Friends: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
Best Friends: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
Friends: Would bail you out of jail.
Best Friends: Would be sitting next to you sayin "Well, that was fun!"
Friends: Have never seen you cry.
Best Friends: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
Friends: Asks you to write down your number.
Best Friends: Has you on speed dial.
Friends: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best Friends: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue.
"Friends: Only know a few things about you.
Best Friends: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
Friends: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
Best Friends: Will kick the whole crowds' butt that left you.
Friends: Would knock on your front door.
Best Friends: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
Friends: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Best Friends: Already know not to tell.
Friends: Are only through highschool/college.
Best Friends: Are for life.
Friends: Would ignore this letter
Best Friends: Will repost this junk!
ºººººººººººººººººººººººººº
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle!)
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"
Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.
WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!
1-Boil ice cream.
2-Bury your fathers Nissan. Tell your him the dog did it.
3-Challenge the neighbour kid to duel.
4-Climb a sidewalk.
5-Dial 911...breath heavily.
6-Donate your brother/sister's body to science.
7-Have your cat bronzed.
8-Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes.
9-Join Hell's Angels by mail.
10-Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids.
11-Learn to type...with your toes.
12-Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
13-Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins.
14-Mow your carpet.
15-Paint your home...day-glo orange.
16-Paint your windows.
17-Pinstripe your driveway.
18-Plant a shoe.
19-Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
20-Plot the overthrow of your local School Board.
21-Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed.
22-Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
23-Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)
24-Redecorate your garage.
25-Ride a loaf of bread.
26-See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
27-Speak in acronyms.
28-Take apart all your major kitchen appliances. Mix and match the parts.
29-Take your sofa for a walk.
30-Turn your TV picture tube upside down.
31. Flicker the light switch for about 5 minutes before saying very loudly "ooooooooooooooh! I get it!"
32-Wax the ceiling.
O.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.oO.o
Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
Best Friends: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
Friends: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
Best Friends: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
Friends: Would bail you out of jail.
Best Friends: Would be sitting next to you sayin "Well, that was fun!"
Friends: Have never seen you cry.
Best Friends: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
Friends: Asks you to write down your number.
Best Friends: Has you on speed dial.
Friends: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best Friends: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue.
"Friends: Only know a few things about you.
Best Friends: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
Friends: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
Best Friends: Will kick the whole crowds' butt that left you.
Friends: Would knock on your front door.
Best Friends: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
Friends: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Best Friends: Already know not to tell.
Friends: Are only through highschool/college.
Best Friends: Are for life.
Friends: Would ignore this letter
Best Friends: Will repost this junk!
ºººººººººººººººººººººººººº
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle!)